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21 USC §333, 343(h) & 7 CFR §58.736(b) make it a federal crime to sell pasteurized process cheese if it doesn’t have a “velvety body.”

16 USC §668dd & 50 CFR §27.32(b)(5) make it a crime to use a boat on a wildlife refuge if its toilet doesn’t comply with federal regulations

18 USC §1865 & 36 CFR §7.47(a)(3) make it a federal crime to go into a cave alone in Carlsbad Caverns.

16 USC §703 & 50 CFR §21.61 make it a federal crime to shoot Canada geese from a sailboat, even with a permit, unless the sails are furled.

18 USC §2272 makes it a federal crime for a co-owner of a boat to cast away the boat on the high seas in order to injure the other co-owner.

15 USC §6308(b)(1)(A) & 6309 make it a crime for a boxing promoter to have a financial interest in the management of a professional boxer.

31 USC §5111(d)(2), 31 CFR §82.1(b) & 82.2(a)(2) make it a federal crime to leave the US with more than $25 worth of pennies in your pocket.

40 U.S.C. §8103(b)(4) makes it a federal crime to injure a government-owned sink.

18 U.S.C. §1703(b) makes it a federal crime for a postal worker to destroy your newspaper.

21 USC §§601(n)(7), 610, 676 & 9 CFR §319.261 make it a federal crime to sell “meat loaf” unless it’s in loaf form.